A man I really admired took his own life today. I first became acquainted with Trey Pennington through Twitter in late 2009. The interactions I had with him always brought a smile to me face. He was always warm and full of upbeat encouragement.
I met him face to face for the first time a year ago at his Social Story conference in Greenville, SC. It was instructive and a lot of fun. I ended up talking with Trey for a while after the conference. He asked me what I liked and didn't like. He actually listened to what I had to say and made me feel like we were the only people in the room. A rare talent, that.
I saw Trey again a few weeks later when he came up to Greensboro for the 2010 ConvergeSouth conference. He actually came up the night before to attend a Social Media Club Greensboro dinner. Trey himself started Social Media Club Greenville and encouraged opening SMC chapters throughout the southeast. About ten of us sat eating and talking and sharing ideas. Because all of us in the room knew Trey through Twitter we sort of looked at him as a celebrity, while he treated us as friends. The dynamic of the evening was remarkable.
The next day was the first day of ConvergeSouth. Boxes lunches were served, and I sat in a group that included Trey and Elyse Porterfield (now Anderson), the dry erase board job quitting hoax girl. A few people asked to have their picture taken with Elyse, which she graciously agreed to. The funny part is that, at this point, Trey didn't know who Elyse was. When I asked Elyse if I could get my picture taken with her, Trey finally asked why everyone wanted their picture take with Elyse. Someone in the group, I don't remember who, explained it to him. His eyes lit up when he realized who Elyse was. He'd seen the hoax online, but hadn't recognized her in person. He jumped up and said, "I'm getting in on this!" It was hilarious. Everyone around us had a good laugh. (Here's the picture:
http://jeffharbert.posterous.com/me-with-elyse-porterfield-officialelyse-and-t)
Looking back, it was at that moment I felt Trey become a friend.
That evening, Trey hosted a dinner for some ConvergeSouth attendees, myself included. I was the first to arrive at the restaurant. I pulled into the parking lot to see Trey on foot, having walked over from his hotel. He saw me get out of my car and walked toward me. He shook my hand and greeted me, then we walked inside. It was 15-20 minutes before anyone else arrived, so for a bit it was just Trey and I enjoying a drink at the bar.
I don't remember what we talked about, probably inconsequential stuff, but it felt like I was visiting with an old friend. That was how Trey made me feel, and I know I'm not alone in that.
I was hesitant to refer to Trey as 'friend' until I sat down to write this. Truth be told, I didn't know him that well. But I know how he made me feel. He made me feel like a friend. When he asked me what I thought about Social Story and actually listened. When he horned in on my picture with Elyse. When he changed directions to walk toward me that night at dinner. Strangers don't do those things. Neither do selfish people. But friends do.
Trey, I don't know much about what happened in the last few months or the events that led to today. I'm sorry that living this life wasn't enough for you. I mean that without recrimination. Perhaps a better way of putting it would be, I'm sorry you had to go through things that made you feel taking your life was the best answer. I can't imagine that kind of pain, and I wish you'd never had to live with it.
Rest in peace, my friend.